Finding A Path Through Your Grief

When you really look at the fall season, it really represents life and death. Although the falling leaves look beautiful, we’re actually witnessing their death. It sounds strange, to see beauty in something involving death. But it also makes sense. Because, this ending is followed by a season of renewal, a new start, or a rebirth.

Today, I’m sharing with you Rachel’s journey with grief, and how it was a catalyst for healing generational trauma, not just for herself, but for her mom as well. And, how it has inspired her life’s work and passion.

Rachel’s Journey

When Rachel was seven years old, she experienced a tragic death of someone in her community. It made her realize how people can experience mental health problems and challenges as a result of something physical and organic. This was Rachel’s first exposure to witnessing the impact of neurodegenerative illnesses that may impact the mind. When Rachel spoke about her early childhood experience, her take-away lesson that stuck with her was, “you can’t do anything other than try to be there for the person”. 

Later on, as she was becoming an adult, her grandfather was diagnosed with PSP, which is an advanced form of Parkinson’s. She experienced the grief of his loss. 

When I asked her what she thought these experiences taught her about what to expect from life or change, and how they’ve influenced her, she replied: “it’s learning how to pick and choose your battles. When it comes to my grandfather, I think that's something that I learned to accept it for what it is and do what I can.” 

During this time in her life, she also witnessed the toll this took on her mother as the primary caregiver of her grandfather.  

These were Rachel’s first lessons on handling life’s pain with radical acceptance.

Sometimes, pain turns into inspiration…

For Rachel, these painful experiences have fostered her empathy, compassion, and admiration for people who push against the odds, and make the most of life’s moments. 

They have also inspired her career path and life’s purpose. Throughout her adult life, she has embarked on a journey of learning and discovery about how people with these conditions can be helped, and how people’s neurobiology can be supported and healed. 

Sometimes, pain leads to healing… 

When Rachel spoke about her relationship with her family and in particular her mom, she noted that the loss of her grandfather inspired a reciprocal nurturing between her and her mother, and how their relationship has blossomed as she’s gotten older. This happened because her mom realized she wasn’t close with her own mom. Sometimes people become more themselves after their parent passes away, and this was the case for Rachel’s mom, “it opened up the door for my mom to deal with her childhood trauma.”

As Rachel’s mom journeyed in her own healing, so did Rachel. Witnessing her mom practice healthier boundaries, helped Rachel feel more confident to do so as well. 

“She’s always been a people pleaser. I’m kind of the same. After he passed away my mom realized, oh, my health is degrading. I need to do something about that. And then she started to prioritize herself more. She's doing more and more of that. She's amazing. Doing her counseling and all these positive things.”

Rachel has journeyed through imperfect family relationships that have continued to improve over time because they have all invested in their healing, and has worked on her own trauma since her teens. She continues to draw inspiration from her mom, and has learned the power of saying no to honour herself. 

As Rachel shared her experiences about what it means to go through this evolution in her life through grief experiences, I was reminded of the power of loss. Not just in its pain but also in its transformation. Sometimes when you’re in the middle of it, you may not see that. 

We hope Rachel’s story gives you solace and light during painful turbulent times, especially in light of recent events that continue to remind us how much life and death intertwine.

When you look back on your own experiences with beginnings and endings:

• Are there parallels between your experiences and Rachel’s?
• What kind of beginnings would you say you’ve experienced after an ending?
• Are there any endings that have led to growth, healing, and transformation?

I’m always honored to hear from you. If you feel called to do so, hit the reply button and share.