Heavenly peace, the antidote to holiday hustle and outdated traditions

When you think about the holiday season, what is the first feeling that comes to mind?

Joy? Sadness? Stress? Loneliness? Togetherness? Peace? All of the above?!

The truth is, the holidays can bring up many mixed emotions for us. Regardless of your age, race, culture, what you celebrate (if anything), and who you celebrate with, this time of year's general hustle and bustle environment can be incredibly overwhelming. The holiday season in particular can be rife with outdated traditions, long lines at the mall, crowded airports, loud parties, and travel delays that can add up to one word: havoc. As we approach the end of the year, this period is also a reminder that new beginnings are on the horizon- which can be both exciting and daunting. 

So, today we want to focus on slowing down amidst the holiday hustle and bustle, challenging and changing outdated traditions, and through this, finding your heavenly peace. 

What is Heavenly Peace?

I want to start by saying that when we talk about heavenly peace, this does not need to be associated with Christianity, God, heaven, etc. Generally, this is about something pleasant and enjoyable that brings us internal peace and happiness. It’s associated with wholeness, completeness, and prosperity. 

Your heavenly peace might look like…

• Having downtime at home alone or with your partner 
• Heading on a beach vacation
• Taking a road trip with friends
• Enjoying traditions with your family

Whatever your plans are this season, remember that it's good for the soul to step away from our busy lives to focus on reconnecting with ourselves and those in our lives that we value most- whether that’s friends, family, co-workers, and even pets!

Changing Traditions on Your Journey to Peace

Maintaining traditions is something that many of us feel pressured by in all seasons of life (not just the holidays!). Traditions are meant to create a sense of connection, but they can also be confining and exhausting- especially if they no longer fit your life, your values and no longer bring you joy. 

Traumas we experience can impact how we view and experience traditions in our lives. Things like illness, divorce, death of a family member or friend, and natural disasters can play a role in what traditions mean to us, especially if it occurs/occurred around a particular time of year. For example, I have a friend who lost both of their parents in December (a few years apart); while celebrating Christmas and having a family dinner was always exciting for her, it now brings up feelings of sadness. Now, instead of having a big family dinner, she and her partner choose a new restaurant every year to celebrate quietly- it is a new tradition she has embraced that has allowed her to find peace with her feelings around this season. 

Contrary to popular belief, traditions don’t need to be set in stone! Just because something has ‘always’ been done a certain way does not mean it needs to continue. We can change outdated traditions and even create new ones that fit better with where we are at different stages of our lives and in our mental wellness journey. This might feel uncomfortable at first, and you might even get pushback from those around you, but change is good and necessary for us to find our peace. 

Personally, my family celebrates Christmas. One tradition we have followed since I was a child was gathering with each side of our family on December twenty-fifth, having a big meal, and exchanging gifts. Growing up, this was always exhausting. We would wake up early and open presents, scramble to get ready to drive to our first destination for lunch, spend a few hours there, and head to our next destination for dinner. This usually meant several hours in the car throughout the day. More often than not, Christmas day felt stressful and rushed!

A few years ago, this tradition changed (by accident!). A major storm prevented us from travelling on Christmas day, and we ended up having our usual family dinner a few days later. That year, Christmas day was spent just the four of us in my immediate family- it was intimate. For once, we enjoyed the day because we could be intentional about our time and relax. We recognized that we didn’t need to gather on Christmas day for the spirit of this season to exist. Now, we still celebrate with both sides of our family, but we spread out our gatherings over a few days to allow everyone to have the chance to slow down. I can only speak for myself, but I know this change in our tradition has made the holidays much more enjoyable for me (and LESS STRESSFUL!). At the end of the day, for my family, this season is about connection- and we realized we could achieve this without neglecting our mental wellness and inner peace! 

The most important message I hope you can take from this is that it is ok to let go of how we think things “should” be or are “supposed to” be. Letting go of old traditions doesn’t have to be shrouded in sadness; it’s an opportunity to evaluate and reflect on what is meaningful to you and how you can change these things in your life to better align with your values. I want to emphasize that this mentality can apply to all traditions at any time of the year- not just through the holiday season!

HOW to begin to find your heavenly peace

I like to think of inner peace as more of a journey than a destination. And on this journey, it can be difficult to drown out the noise around us; we are constantly bombarded with external perspectives and pressures from family, friends, our culture, the media, etc. The good news is you have the power to change your story, the traditions that have followed you, and find your version of heavenly peace- no matter what that looks like. 

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to guide you on this journey:

• What do I value in my life?
• What are my most essential needs and desires?

• What do I do regularly for myself that keeps me feeling balanced?
• What do I do regularly for myself that is no longer serving me?
• Am I holding on to something that would be better to let go of?

As we continue to move through the holiday season, please slow down and take a break from the hustle and bustle- this season is about new beginnings and balance! I challenge you to ask yourself, “what brings me peace?” and follow wherever this takes you- even if it means changing or breaking tradition.  

And more importantly, take a moment for yourself and enjoy all you’ve worked for this year- you deserve it!